The Power to Bounce Back From Failure
I know you’ve heard this before, but it isn’t just a cliché. It is a reality for anyone who believes they have the strength to start over.
In Nigeria, we put so much pressure on one exam – JAMB (for Nigerians) and any qualifying exam after high school for people in the diaspora. When the results come out and the numbers aren’t high enough, or you don’t get your dream course, it feels like the world has ended. You might feel ashamed, especially if you’ve written it more than once.
To the girls: You are not a failure; you just encountered a hurdle. To the parents: Your daughter’s potential is not defined by a 3-digit score.
How to Assess the Situation (Without the Heartbreak)
Before you give up, let’s look at the situation clearly:
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Be Honest About the “Why”: Was it a lack of study, poor internet access, a bad exam center, or just nerves? Identifying the problem helps you fix it for next time.
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The “Course” vs. The “Career”: Sometimes we miss a course (like Medicine) but can still reach the same goal through a different path (like Anatomy or Public Health). The path can change, but the destination stays the same.
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The Power of “Not Yet”: Failing this year doesn’t mean never. It means not right now.
Moving Forward: Your 3-Step Plan
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Take a Breath: Don’t make big decisions while you are crying. Give yourself a week to feel the disappointment, then wash your face and get ready to work.
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Look for Alternative Skills: While waiting for the next JAMB cycle, don’t just sit at home. This is the perfect time to learn a skill, like the solar energy projects we do at Iwari , or digital design. These skills often pay better and faster than a degree!
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Change Your Strategy: If you studied alone last time, find a study group. If you struggled with a subject, find a mentor.
A Note to Parents
Your support is the power your daughter needs to bounce back. If she feels judged at home, she will lose the confidence to try again. Be her safe space. Help her look at other options, like vocational training or diploma programmes, while she prepares for the next step.
Remember: My own journey didn’t follow a straight line. I didn’t even know how to use a computer until I was 22! Life isn’t a race; it’s about making sure you eventually get to where you belong.- Esther Oke